Don’t want nudes leaked? Don’t take nudes. Don’t want to be robbed? Stop owning things. Wanna avoid being killed? Buddy, quit living already!
holy fucking cockblock
This made me laugh out loud
somebody gon have to tighten me up lol
This article is great because that author tried to put in as many dick jokes that he possibly could.
- KeyWrites (via keywrites)
my little cousin got bit by a house spider and she was crying so i went to get some stuff to soothe and numb it but before i could even walk out the door i heard her quietly whisper ‘i can’t handle the responsibility of being spiderman’
Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.